Saturday, December 13, 2014

Sexuality and Romance, Part Two

For part one click here!

In this post I want to talk about sexuality and how it differs from romantic attraction. (This post will be in Q&A style)

REMEMBER:
Not everybody's sexual and romantic attraction will match up. Never assume that these orientations match up. Always remember just because you think someone's sexual and or romantic orientation is this they might rather be called that so please don't assume things. Sexual and romantic orientation are personal it's up to the person to identify with what they are comfortable.
Both sexual and romantic orientations are based on sex/gender. To understand these orientation you first have to understand that sex and gender are different and there are multiple genders. To read about the difference and the multiple genders click here.
Now that you know there are multiple genders and that sex and gender are different we can explore the great world of attractions and orientations!

So what exactly is the difference between romantic orientation and sexual orientation?

Sexual orientation defines the gender(s) and or sex(s) you are sexually attracted to. Sexual orientation is based on the desire to be with someone sexually in relation to their gender(s) and or sex(s).
Romantic orientation defines the gender(s) and or sex(s) you are romantically attracted to. Romantic orientation is based on the desire to be with someone romantically in the relation to their gender(s) and or sex(s).

How can you tell if your romantically or just sexually attracted to a certain gender and or sex?

Well many people match up on their romantic and sexual orientations. But think about what gender/sex you have the desires to be sexual with. This is the gender/sex(s) that most likely draws you in due to their physical appearance. If you only have a sexual attraction towards that gender/sex(s) there will be an absence of romantic attraction.
Now think about what gender/sex you have the desire to be romantic with. This is the gender/sex(s) that you develop crushes on. If you only have a romantic attraction toward that gender/sex(s) there will be an absence of sexual attraction.

What's a good example of romantic attraction in relation to gender/sex?

The gender/sex(s) you develop crushes on. The gender/sex(s) you want to date and see yourself being with. The gender/sex(s) you want to make deep emotional/romantic bonds with.

What's a good example of sexual attraction in relation to gender/sex?

The gender/sex(s) you develop lust for. The gender/sex(s) which arouses you. The gender/sex(s) you have sexual desires for.

I still don't understand the difference between romantic and sexual orientation.

Ask yourself this every person you have felt lust for have you also devolved a crush on that person or a desire to be with them? It can be hard to distinguish the differences between lust, love and a simple crush.

I'm kinda sexually attracted to this gender/sex(s) but I'm more romantically attracted to them what does this mean?
Or
I'm sort of romantically attracted to this gender/sex(s) but I'm more sexually attracted to them what does this mean?

It means just that. Don't worry nothings wrong with you. People can experience different levels of attraction and be attracted to someone in different ways for many different reasons.To some there is no line between sexual and romantic orientation, there could also be a thin line between the two and for others they are two completely different things.

Why is knowing the difference between romantic and sexual orientation important?

Well to some people it may not be important because most people match up. To others it is important. I believe it is important because not everyone does match. Without knowing the difference many people believe if you're not romanticaly attracted to the gender you say you're sexually attracted to then they assume your orientation is invalid. I think it is important to know the general difference because it would eliminate some, not all, discrimination in this area.

What causes attraction and orientation?

That's a question with many different answers. Orientation and attraction are not necessarily the same thing. Some people believe romantic orientation like sexual orientation is due to genetics, "the way you're born" nature. Others believe that romantic orientation/sexual orientation is due to you're surroundings and is nurture not nature. Some say its nature and nurture. Others say one is nature and the other nurture. There is also the theory that orientations are flexible and can change. There is no definite answer, yet. But for attraction it can be many things. So I found something that talks about the reasons we feel attraction to certain people. click here!

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